What a heavy day this is. The sisters and I went to church, as per our custom on Sundays. God moved in such a special way. How do I know this? Because I had a migraine from all the tears I had shed. "The Mc" came over for lunch and we all spent the evening together. I went to my room, took a few pain killers and rested. I got up for a glass of water, when Sisters #3 came into my room with her phone on speaker. Sister #2 quickly followed. I was still groggy from the mix of pain killers and sleep, but I knew something had happened.
Something terrible had just happened; for the facial expressions that walked in, told me so. The heaviness was palpable, as my father's voice began to fill the silence of my darkened room. These words will forever be apart of me, 'Kanj, I'm sorry to wake you up, but I thought you should know that GM passed away today from kidney failure.'
And with that sentence, my heart was ripped out of my chest; the breath knocked out of my body. A torrent of tears fell, as I tried to sort out what Dad has just told me. He said she was gone and that MM and 'Q'M were now facing a journey through the darkest of valleys. I couldn't even hug them, or tell them that I loved them; so I cried for them. My heart broke for them. For the little six year old girl that now has to grow up without her mom, for the man that stood taller when she was in the room, who smiled bigger and brighter when he spoke about her. What could I do BUT cry? She was a daughter, sister, wife, mother, prayer warrior, and one of my closest friends while I was over there. She was beautiful; inside and out. And now, I'm told she's gone.
Sister #3 and I stood in the middle of my room and let the grief wash down our faces. Sister #2, ever so supportive and sympathetic, knew that we were close, and yet still she couldn't grasp the depth of our loss. She held us, as we held each other, questioning the sudden departure of a 'sister'. Sister #1 called from Florida and said, 'Kanj, I'm so sorry for your loss. I know she meant a lot to you.' She was part of my family. We went everywhere together and did everything together. She laughed at me and I laughed at her, most of all, we laughed together.
I wear a khanga for her today. My eyes have been flooded and rivers surge down my face, as I remember every single detail about her. Today, MM told Dad that he and 'Q'M were now alone and my heart broke all over again. I cried at work, as I remember MM telling me as we drove away, 'Don't forget us.' Well I've kept that promise. She's gone, but never, ever forgotten. This old world became a little darker, and heaven, heaven became a little brighter upon her arrival.
GM - Save a spot for me. I'm on my way, perhaps I'll be a little delayed, but as MM says so eloquently, 'I'm coming'.
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