Wow - what a journey it has been. Physically, emotionally, and mentally. I will probably write a more in-depth post about what it's like to be back, but for now.... here are a few of my favorite moments thus far, in no particular order.
Talking on skype with Sister #3 in London.
Walking off the plane in Chicago... and was suddenly infused with a rush of adrenaline, knowing that all the pieces of this puzzle would finally be in place.
Seeing my sisters through the glass door at Lambert International Airport.
Watching Sister #3 run towards me, as I ran to her to give her the biggest hug since January.
The group hug that I shared with ALL my sisters.
Being the first one to see the girls. (Mom and Dad were getting the rental.)
Laughing hysterically in Taco Bell with my Mom and sisters, as Dad just sat there and shook his head.
The talking over, interrupting, loud and extremely chaotic conversations that we shared sitting in the living room... as a entire family.
Singing Christmas songs, just for the pure enjoyment that it brings me... knowing that it annoys the other 3/4.
Stay tuned for many more moments of R happenings.
Nov 25, 2009
Hello America
Posted by Kandra 0 comments
Oct 31, 2009
Well folks... it's official.
The time has come when I must pack my bags, and bid farewell to this beautiful place. I will be leaving Tanzania in exactly 2 weeks.
As Mks, we've all said many goodbyes. Some were happy, some were tearful. Some were easy, and some were not. Let me assure you that this particular goodbye found it's home in the 'NOT' category.
Reality has yet to sink in but the hole in my heart is already huge. How does one so casually say good-bye to a country and people who have so aptly grown to be part of who you are? I don't think that it can be done.
So for now, I'm going to be packing my bags, shedding my tears, and humming 'Happy Christmas' as I count down the days. Why? Because right now it is too painful to digest the fact that I have to leave my 'home', so that I can go 'home'. It's too scary to think about starting college and getting a job when I'm so confused about the future. Because I know there will come a day when excitement will be replaced with dread, and the joy of seeing my sisters will be replaced with the pain of leaving Mom and Dad.
So now - just let me stay here singing my Christmas songs, and just let the excitement build. Because reality comes to quick, and goodbyes take to long.
Posted by Kandra 0 comments
Sep 22, 2009
Tansparancy = Thankfulness in Trial
I wanted just ONE day filled with yellow tulips and butterscotch Werthers, the sound of my sisters arguing, and a dinning room that was not silent, but rather, filled with the laughter and chatter of my family together again. That was what I wanted.
And then... reality showed up. Reality reminded me that I won't always have days like that. Reality reminded that life is gonna deal some hard knocks. Sure, there will be a few days of yellow tulips, but mostly it is a process of creation. In this creation is a molding, pushing, prodding, and ever evolving process. God made it that way so we would be ever progressing into the person He wants us to be. But then comes a flash of hope. A breath of something new. A whisper of a promise.
What promise, I asked myself. And then I remembered.
It is the promise of His grace being sufficient for me... the one of His strength being perfect in my weakness.
In our moments of frustration and discouragement that Jesus shows up. In the middle of our mess, He shines on us and BECAUSE of our situation, He shows Himself strong. He didn't say FOR everything give thanks... He said IN everything give thanks.
Since March I have been dealing with something that was NOT filled with Werthers. Begging, pleading, praying... it seemed that whatever I said, my words just reached the roof and fell back down into my lap. But it wasn't until recently, in my prayer time, that I had a little breeze of hope come floating by. I was starting my litany of 'Now God... you know.... so HURRY UP AND DO SOMETHNG'.... when I felt His presence enter the room where I was kneeling. Ever so softly, I felt Him whisper to my soul, 'Why don't you THANK Me for this situation, instead of begging Me to fix it every time you begin to talk to Me? Don't YOU know that I alread know about it? That I knew before it ever came to you, that you would go through this?'
To say the least; I quickly shut up. This wasn't a mere suggestion, this was a gentle rebuke that showed me I had never thanked Him. Right there, my attitude changed and the litany came to a screeching halt. In the midst of my mess, I can STILL thank God! I still have reason to praise Him. He knows the way I take - Every frustration. Every moment of discouragement and every weakness. But here comes the promise - He also knows my moments of victory.
So YES - I'm still going through a mess, but I now have a new song to sing. A new battle cry. A new song is being written. It keeps going over and over in my mind like a track stuck on repeat: 'IN EVERYTHING GIVE THANKS'.
Don't kid yourself - there are still moments when I want to scream 'I QUIT!' to the world; but just when I think of opening my heart to let those words out, I hear a soft, ever so quiet voice say to me, 'My grace is sufficient. My strength is perfect for you. Right now. In this moment. You CAN do all things with My help!' It's that whispered promise that lets me know I can make it through. If only for one day.
So it begins. Pushing up from a deep quiet place, and beyond the brokenness. Despite the pain and tears; it starts as a whisper just trying out it's new found freedom. With a boldness it begins to grow and build; until it reaches it's fullness. A song breaks forth from a soul bowed down with frustration.
Thank you Jesus.
Posted by Kandra 0 comments
Aug 6, 2009
Once again...
... I am overwhelmed.
I was sitting in the car waiting for mom to finish buying the produce. As I was sitting there I saw a young man walk up and immediately I felt such an overwhelming compassion and such a deep love for the people of 'my' great nation! This young man was mentally and physically handicap. Three of his fingers were crooked, his left lip, cheek, and eyebrow were constantly twitching, and I doubt there was a straight tooth in his mouth; and yet, I couldn't help but feeling such a love for him! I thought about him all they way home. I wondered, 'Jesus, is this a little of what you felt when you walked on this earth so many years ago? Filled with such compassion and love?'
I pray that I will continue loving these people with the deep love that I felt today!! Give a hug, share a smile... let someone know you care today!!
Posted by Kandra 0 comments
Jul 26, 2009
Would you forgive me?
I have neglected you, my dear blog, and for that I'm sorry. When I started befriending you, I thought that I would have some sort of instantaneous inspiration so that I could 'wow' you with my amazing writings... so far, it hasn't happened. Anyway, I must allow our readers to feel important too...
HELLO precious readers - (all 2 of you)
I've really not *intentionally* ignored updating this, but sometimes, there just are not enough words that could correctly express what I feel or what is going on in my life. Anyway.... moving on to the important stuff.
Catching up from the youth conference in Iringa/Dar es Salaam... well let's just say that was AMAZING!!! About 35 young people received the Holy Ghost.
Ok - and on to the past 2 weeks of being on the road.
A week was spent in South Africa. While that was an amazing experience, new friends met, and memories were made, it was extremely FREEZING cold! I had an awesome birthday week; everyone that sent birthday cards, money, notes, and warm wishes... THANK YOU!
The week after SA, was spent in Nairobi, Kenya @ Dr. appoinments, shopping, and just chilling out. My cousin flew in from Austin,Tx and thus far we are having an AWESOME time.
We have created a joint blog for the duration of his stay here in Tanzania, so I more than likely will not be posting alot on here for the next 6 weeks. Check us out @ R Great Adventure.
Happy Readings!
Posted by Kandra 0 comments
Jun 18, 2009
Hello and Goodbye...
Hello my peeps!!!....
and Good-bye for awhile
Sorry I've neglected this blog for awhile. I've been packing and getting ready for 10 days of youth conferences. We will be leaving in the am (Friday - 6.19.) and try to make it to the 2 o'clock service for the first service of the Dar youth conference... SUPER EXCITED!
We leave Dar for Iringa on Tuesday of next week and won't be back home until... sometime around the 30th.... so PRAY!
Pray that God would -
A) Do HIS will
B) Fill many people.
C) Show up and show off!!!!
D) Give the speakers/teachers/preachers a specific word for each service/conference!
LOVE TO ALL ~
K
*ps - Will try to post and update if I have internet.
Posted by Kandra 0 comments
Jun 13, 2009
Favorite Memories and Moments II
*First time to hear someone get the Holy Ghost while speaking in English*
*The most incredible baptisimal service I have ever experienced to date*It's been a happy anniversary this year - and I can't wait to see what God is going to continue to do through-out the remaining months of our term!
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Favorite Memories and Moments
*Notice the toilet paper decorations - we thought that was great - now it's normal*


*Language School*
*First trip into Dar - Weekend away from Language School*
(Tess and I thought this sign was hilarious - now it's just 'normal')
*First trip to Zanzibar*
*Official Dar Welcome*

*Visiting the day-care kids @ one of UPCT's churches*
*First church dedication*
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PARTAY!!!!!
3 years ago, on a chilly night around 7:50pm local time, 4 members of the Robertson family made their grand debut in the country of their calling.
The Journey Begins
*Tess and I just the day before we flew out*
*6 months worth of belongings*
*The last photo of the 4 of us before we moved to Tz*
*All of us with tear stained faces - one of my favorite pictures*
*Waiting in Lambert International Airport - St. Louis Mo*
*Tess @ STL*
*Our plane*

These three years have been a crazy, wonderful, stressful, learning, molding, incredible, painful, amazing, and the most life changing experience I have ever encountered in my life.
I wouldn't trade it for ANYTHING in the world.
*Stay tuned for some of my favorite memories and moments*
Posted by Kandra 0 comments
Jun 2, 2009
Obsession...

Lately I've been obsessed with Post-It notes.
It all started on a cool day in Nairobi Kenya last Christmas during our 'gift exchange'. The gift that I received was about 8 different colors and shapes of Post-It notes.
Currently, in front of my desk, it looks like an explosion of pink, green, and yellow squares, rectangles and triangles. Sitting beside me are 6 (yes SIX!) different stacks of Post-Its.
Maybe it's just me... but I LOVE to peel one of and slap it up on the back board of my desk...
Posted by Kandra 2 comments
Jun 1, 2009
I'm back!
Hey Everyone...
I'm back!
The last week has been kinda sorta crazy.
Dad has been in National Board meetings since last Tuesday from 8am until 7pm and sometimes 8. I've been sick with a nasty cold/sinus infection... but I'm better now. Thank you Jesus. Mom is amazing as always... keeping up with Dad's weird schedule and taking care of me. Love you MAMA!!!!
Hopefully, I'll be starting school this week... after a 1 year sabbatical. Long story = Huge drama... but we are over comers, and the drama is coming to an end!!! *Sending a HUGE thank you to RF of New Life Academy in Napa, Ca.*
Posted by Kandra 0 comments
May 18, 2009
In This Place
Decisions have to be made,
Yet somehow I'm not ready.
Not ready to face the world alone -
Again
As time goes by
With each second that passes me;
I can't help but wonder -
Who am I?
When the crowds rush by
With their noises filling my ears
I can't help but stand here -
Feeling alone in my silence
My thoughts race;
My mind is full,
And yet no words come
Nothing has to be said.
In this place, You know me
Here, You know my silence.
You understand the words that a single tear says
Rolling its way down a face,
Determined to smile.
So - Here I am.
In a new place, a plan is being revealed
In this place, a work is being done.
Here, I find myself
Scared, scarred, yet still standing -
Again.
In this place, I'm not alone
You are with me.
I've found peace;
knowing that I belong,
Here, with You.
So - Here I am.
Tried as gold, stronger than ever
To this place, I've returned -
Knowing who I am.
I am Yours.
A chosen generation;
A royal priesthood,
Called apart to make a difference
In someone's world.
Posted by Kandra 0 comments
May 12, 2009
Quiet Observations of a cardiologist's clinic
*As I wrote the observations of this day, I was sitting in the corner of a cardiologist's clinic. At the time, I was quite bored, concerned, and on the verge of laughter. Weird combination, I know. Concerned because my father was a patient that day; bored because I forgot to bring a book; and on the verge of laughter because of all the characters that have been walking in and out of this office*
Ok, enough ranting... back to the quiet observations.
Posted by Kandra 0 comments
May 5, 2009
Catching up...
Pardon the lack of posts, the 2 of you that actually read this blog. We have been in Nairobi since Sunday, and I've only checked my email twice. Yes I know... miracles DO happen! Anyway... here are a few updates.
Wednesday - Dad returned yet AGAIN to the Dr., I sat yet AGAIN in the waiting area for what seemed FOREVER, went home, chilled, went to the Groves' place and had dinner. We had a great time of laughter and fellowship.
Posted by Kandra 0 comments
Apr 30, 2009
These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things...
... revised to fit my life.
Jamming out in a mud church to African drums;
Bright red notices on Facebook and warm fuzzy emails;
Yellow DHL packages full of exciting news;
These are a few of my favorite things.
Gooey chocolate brownies and crisp Tanzanian shillings;
Skype phones that ring and exceedingly fast internet;
Japanese Cherry Blossom lotion from B&B Works;
These are a few of my favorite things.
Little Tanzanian girls with 'pom-pom' hair-dos;
Raindrops that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Rainy winters that evaporate into hot humid summers;
These are a few of my favorite things.
When the neighbor's dogs bark all night long,
When the termites fly,
When I'm feeling sad,
I just remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.
*Original song written by Oscar Hammerstein II and Richard Rodgers.
Posted by Kandra 0 comments
Apr 24, 2009
Around the world...

... and close to the heart.
A few days ago, while chatting with a friend, they asked me ‘How are you”. This wasn’t the usual ‘hihowareyouohImfinethanksforasking’. You know - The ‘Hi, How Are you? Oh I’m fine, thanks for asking’ that becomes a mouth full of words rushed out before you even open your mouth (or type in my case) to reply. This was a truly sincere question about my well being. It was like a breath of fresh air to me. Someone was really concerned enough to ask how I was doing. For that I’m grateful. Grateful, because in this day and age, the rushed mumbo jumbo reply is the norm. I told them what was going on, they said they would pray for me, and we went back to our previous conversation. That was it; two minutes of sincere inquiry. We went on to laugh and tell each other the little bits of news from our corners of the world respectively and in general had a lovely conversation.
I continued to think back over our conversation (yes, I’m one of those people that ‘replay’ every word. Weird - I know) and how their concern was truly encouraging. Lately things have been CRAY-ZAY to the 59th millionth degree. *See previous posts*
So back to my thinking things over…I began to think about ‘how I was’. I asked myself ‘How AM I’? Am I doing ok? Could things be a little better, do I need to change my attitude? And on and on… these were some questions floating through my brain.
So yes, after much reflection and many ‘quiet moments’ (moments I take once in awhile just to ‘think’… doesn’t happen very often… ask my family. No wait… don’t), I realized something.
YES – I am ok. NO – things are not easy right now. Yes – I need to change my attitude. And YES – one day I’ll probably laugh, or at least smile, about all of this. But for right now, I’ve decided that I’m doing just fine.
I’ve decided that I’m going to be content no matter what happens and to give thanks ‘IN’ everything. (Philippians 4:11 and 1 Thessalonians 5:18)
Posted by Kandra 0 comments
Apr 18, 2009
Dear Lord...

... I know you said 'Love your neighbor as yourself' ... but does that include my neighbor's dogs that keep me awake at night???
Just wondering.
Posted by Kandra 0 comments
Apr 15, 2009
A peek into 'R' life
In a little African town, there was a lovely missionary family that lived in a VERY quiet neighborhood. This little missionary family had a daughter that was suffering from sleep deprivation. *NO JOKE - QUITE SERIOUS! She was getting SERIOUSLY ill.* So the sweet missionary dad told his precious missionary wife, 'We need to do something about this; this is concerning me.' So precious missionary mama went to the duka la dawa (it's the pharmacy for those of you who do not have the privilege of speaking Swahili), to consult with her friend and find a nice little tablet for the darling missionary kid. So after arriving home from a trip to bigger African town, the precious missionary mama gave the darling missionary kid the nice little tablet, a glass of water, and said, " Good-night, I'll see you in the morning." So off the darling missionary kid went on her merry way, to the land of Nod. And there she stayed until...
... her RUDE AWAKENING! You see, the beautiful rain had began to fall with quite enthusiasm. However, the sweet missionary dad forgot that he had left the windows down on the great white Land Cruiser. And THAT is when the rude awakening came! The rain was falling, the windows were open, the neighborhood was as quiet as quiet could be, and the lovely missionary family was snug as a bug, sleeping in their warm beds. All of a sudden, with great noise.... THE HORN GOES OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The missionary dad jumps out of bed, fumbles around for the flashlight, the house AND car keys; the watch guard looks around quite suddenly, and takes off RUNNING around the house. He just KNEW that an evil thief had somehow entered in ever so quietly, and that this said thief was the cause of such a great noise! The missionary dad rushes outside, only to realized his great mistake in leaving the windows open. He opens the door of the great white SFC Land Cruiser, and does something that shuts the horn off, but then the lights came on. He tries to get the lights off, but alas, the lights would not turn off. So the missionary dad, tries, yet again, this time he triumphs over the lights, the noise of the horn, and FINALLY gets to go back into the warmth of his house.
The cause for all of the ruckus was, A) The missionary dad forgot to close the windows, B) the rain began falling, which brings us to, C) the rain, entering the car via the open windows, caused the horn to go off...!
The missionary dad and mama spent the day detailing the great white SFC Land Cruiser, it looks beautiful. The darling missionary kid, whom was oh so ill.... slept, SOUNDLY, for 13 hours!!! She woke up feeling great, and got much work done today!
The END
Posted by Kandra 0 comments
Apr 13, 2009
No Water + No Electricity = ....
Hello my dear friends - Let me fill you in on what has been happening in our corner of the world for the past few weeks
Last weekend (April 2-5), Tanzania held a 'Missionary Fellowship'. We had the Crums from Kenya, Bro. Rd, and of course the guest of most importance (in my books), Pops! The weekend was great, as usual. Mom and I just about went crazy, with cooking and cleaning and 'hosting' everyone. Of course, the Bro. and Sis. Smoak helped, but they have no car as of right now, and therefore it is is difficult for them to get out and about town. SO... moving on. Did I mention that we had NO water? Yes I do believe I did. Why we had no water for 8 DAYS I have no clue. Call it 'African'. So here we are with NO water and Pops is staying in our house(OF COURSE), and laundry is building up, dishes are getting washed with the water that Patrick(our groundskeeper) carried from the well, and about half a bottle of bleach that Agatha(housekeeper) poured in. I think she wanted CLEAN dishes! Let us all say STRESSFUL. Enter everyone else. I quickly learned that 6 other people can SERIOUSLY use a LOT of water!!!
Friday- All the guest arrived in town and everyone came to our house for lasagna(BTW - IT WAS AMAZING!), banana bread, salad, banana bread(Did I mention that we had banana bread? Hate bananas,but love banana BREAD - go figure.) all in all, we had great food and fellowship.
Saturday- Bro. Rd., Mom and Dad, Bro. and Sis Smoak, Pops, Bro and Sis. Crum had morning devotions. After devotions, I played tour guide and took Pops and Sis. Crum shopping to a few of my favorite little hole-in-the-wall shops and all in all had a grand time. That night we went out for Indian food @ a near-by restaurant. MORE food and fellowship.
Sunday- Pops, Mom and Dad, Bro. Marco, and myself took off for the village in Chemka (it means boiling. There is a hot spring near by). This church is amazing! About 90% of the saints are 15 or younger! Pops did a great job preaching on the subject 'Jesus Loves You'. We closed the service by singing the song 'Jesus Loves Me' in English... that was a HUGE hit. I love listening to Tanzanian kiddos sing in English, even if they have NO clue what they are saying(Now I know what I sound like when I speak Kiswahili.)!
Thankfully on Monday morning, water arrived with a vengeance and Agatha started doing laundry with EQUAL vengeance!
Moving on to THIS weekend...
Thursday- Mom and Dad have been in TMF (Tanzania Missionary Fellowship) meetings all day, I've been at home just chillin around the house. Mom and Dad return from a 5 or 6 hour meeting, exhausted beyond all exhaustion, and of course - the power goes off. Mom, was NOT impressed, and Dad was convinced that it would come back on before we went to bed. I was not so sure. We waited, and waited, and waited some more... by this time it is 11:30 pm and we are ALL exhausted(missionary midnight had passed 2 and 1/2 hours before). So off to bed we go.
Friday- We wake up, after a night of swatting mosquitos, and tossing and turning. That day passed E X T R E M E L Y slowly. By this time, Dad has called Tanesco(our electrical company) about 45 times and the answer keeps coming back 'A transformer has a problem. A fundi(repairman) is working on it, you should have electricity today'. So dad was like 'Ok guys, just wait it out a little bit longer.' Well we are now into the evening, and the mosquitos that visited on Thursday night, brought their friends for 'All you can eat Wazungu' buffet. Mom and I were NOT impressed. So another night of tossing and turning, mosquito swatting, and heat suffering passes.
Saturday- Dad gets up and lets the guard out (@ 6am) and immediately calls Tanesco. AGAIN. I'm pretty sure that the tension has crept into his voice, and he 'firmly' tells the operator, 'I NEED ELECTRICITY TODAY!' Of course, the people continued to answer him with 'Oh today Bwana... today'. By this time it is 3ish in the afternoon. And Dad CONTINUES to hold onto the sliver of hope that we will have electricity. I have reached the 'I'll-believe-it-when-I-see-it' point. After much persuasion, I convinced Dad to start the car, so I could charge his computer, and my ipod(THANK GOD FOR CAR CONVERTERS!). During all of this, it is raining. I mean RAINING!!! Like serious, open the windows of Heaven kind of rain! It's now late evening, and Dad is BEYOND frustrated. So yet again.... a sleepless night in Moshi.
Easter Sunday- Mom excitedly wakes me up, as is her custom on Easter Sunday, and convinces me that I HAVE to come downstairs. I know that she is just waiting for me to jump up and down with great excitement over this basket stuffed to it's gills of 'STUFF'. Of course, it's all extremely GREAT stuff... but stuff nonetheless. My poor brain does NOT start to work that fast in the mornings... So the enthusiasm wasn't expressed to the level of Mom's hope. Never the less.... I did get a new skirt, a new pair of shoes, a new skirt, a cover for my ipod, a iTunes gift card, a couple of headbands, and a whole bunch of candy... Moving on to the electrical drama. (Yes we did have a drama on Easter Sunday... just not your 'Normal' Burial and Resurrection Drama.) We get dressed and head over to the missionary apartment for a special Missionary service with the Smoaks. On the way there, Dad drives into town so that he may speak with the people at Tanesco... YET AGAIN! So here we are, at Tanesco, Dad is shaking his head and making all sorts of hand motions to emphasis his point. He FINALLY speaks with someone who is polite enough to tell the TRUTH about the problem and says that he will call dad just as soon as it is fixed. So off we go to the missionary apartment. We arrive, and are in the middle of our 'service' when my dad's phone starts to sing a merry little tune! Dad jumps up, answers the phone, and says 'I'm on my way - Five minutes' and walks out the door. After about 15 minutes... he returns and WONDERS OF WONDERS... We have electricity. So we continue with our service, eat an incredible lunch of chicken tacos... and came home to a house with electricity. Did I mention that we had been 70 hours WITHOUT electricity? So of course, Mother and I had to clean out the fridge and freezer... we lost EVERYTHING! Ugh - Let's just say that it was DISGUSTING!
As I have so fondly said over the past 3 and 1/2 years... 'Welcome to Africa'. I do remind myself 'In everything give thanks'.... and not necessarily 'FOR everything give thanks'.
Until the next chattering...
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